the scientist
by honorificabilitudinitatibus
Summary: "I-I miss you, Rin. I really do. Hey, and… I love you. I'll always love you." Rin/Len, noncest, oneshot. (edited: 28.11.12)


**I HAVE EDITED THIS STORY—there were things I wanted/needed to fix. Other than that, thanks to all those who have reviewed/critiqued beforehand! c: (And to those who are going to review, too!)  
**

**I've implied the age of Len in the 'breaks' before each part of the story.  
(28.11.12)**

**Title:** the scientist

**Summary:** "I-I miss you, Rin. I really do. Hey, and… I love you. I'll always love you."

**Genre:** Romance, angst, hurt/comfort, tragedy, supernatural and… er, sci-fi? (I guess?)

**Rated:** T… Because of character death? And language.

**Character Pairings:** Len/Rin, hints of Rin/Kaito and Miku/Kaito

**Disclaimer:** Vocaloid is not mine. Fortunately. :'D

No, no, no, this isn't based of Heart/Heart Miracle (ココロ/ココロ・キセキ). This has been _remotely_ inspired by the song 'The Scientist' by Coldplay because my friends performed it in music and all that jazz. (It was amazing.)

Enjoy! Or don't enjoy. Whatever suits you best?

* * *

_Two children sit under a large cherry blossom tree on a hill, at the edge of a vast meadow._

"_Len," the girl interrupts quietly, as she tucks her knees up into her chest and leans her chin upon them. Len, the boy, turns away from the book he was reading aloud and peers down at the smaller female beside him through his long, golden eyelashes._

"_What is it, Rin?"_

_Rin furrows her eyebrows and tilts her head up to her flaxen-haired friend, a solemn look crossing her features. "We'll be together forever, right?" she asks in a tiny voice._

_Len stares at her for a few moments, a deep red seeping across his cheeks. He closes the book gently and presses his lips together, hastily looking back over at the valley displayed in front of them._

"_Of course, Rin," he says, his lips curving up into a smile. He looks back at her and puts a fist to the left side of his chest, "Always, always in here—even when we can't see each other."_

_The blonde girl grins at her friend, her face slightly pink._

"_Yeah,"_

.

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the scientist

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_sixteen and eight months_

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.

"I'm sorry I'm late, sensei." the high schooler says numbly as soon as he tears open the classroom door, interrupting the lesson.

The teacher narrows his gaze and lets out a sigh, fixing his spectacles. "Very well. Please go take a seat, without talking."

The blonde boy nods and looks over at two seats by the window expectantly, but his heart shrinks as he is met with the common disappointment for the chair neighbouring his is empty. It's been empty for a while now—cold and secluded, a thin layer of dust collecting upon the desk top. It gawks at him with an intimidating vacancy, as he knows it'll probably be in that same state for a long time, at least.

Len can feel the pitiful gazes of fellow classmates following his backside as he sidles measly to his chair and sinks down into it with uneasiness. His cobalt gaze flickers over to the desk beside his in paranoia, to confirm it's still empty. Empty, just like his taciturn soul.

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_fourteen_

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.

He's late. As always.

His feet move hurriedly down the walkway, a bead of perspiration dribbling down his forehead. The corners of his lips turn down as his eyebrows furrow and he nervously tugs at his jumper, as if he's releasing the uneasy butterflies hidden inside. He's late for their 14th birthday celebration—yet again—and she'll most likely kill him for this.

Len reaches the karaoke restaurant, breathing out a sigh of relief to see his best friend standing out front with a frown on her face and her arms crossed over her chest. Puffs of white clouds escape her mouth and her lips look almost blue. Oh. She's been waiting outside for half-an-hour. Shit.

He'd stopped a few metres away from her, trying to catch his breath. She must have heard him, because she glances in his direction, her crystalline, blue eyes narrowing at the sight of him. "Len! Where have you been? I've been waiting out here for half-an-hour!" she exclaims, rushing over to the boy.

Len winces, feeling guilt. "I'm sorry, Rin… Got held up, I tried to come as fast as possible…" he murmurs in between huffs as he gulps for air.

Rin shakes her head, placing her hands on her hips. "No excuses! What about your phone? You could have texted me that you were going to be late!"

"Dropped my phone in the toilet yesterday," he mutters, looking down at his feet.

"H-how did it get there?!" she cries, her eyes widening in disgust or terror. Probably disgust.

Len ignores her question for a specific reason, blushing; as he regains his composure and places an arm around her shivering torso, pulling her close to share his warmth. "Why did you stand out here, waiting for me?" he asks, frowning in concern, "You could catch a cold, Rin." He steers the girl inside, into the warm air, where she sighs in pleasure as the heat hits her frozen cheeks.

"I just… I was worried you weren't going to come…" she states in a small voice as they line up to be allocated to a karaoke room.

Len stares down at Rin, watching as she looks away shyly, snivelling. He gawks a bit, feeling the tips of his ears turn the shade of a cherry. He swallows uneasily, quickly glancing over to the side.

"I-I wouldn't miss being with you for the world." he whispers.

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_fifteen and a quarter_

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.

"I'm so nervous, Len!" Rin cries, jumping up and down, and shaking her hands about frantically.

Len swallows, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Yeah,"

His best friend dances around, her cheeks tainted beetroot red as she chews her bottom lip. "What happens if I trip over and fall flat on my face in front of him?" she asks, panicking, "Or I spill a drink all over my new dress?"

Len's cobalt eyes shift uneasily as he kicks at the bottle lid on the ground and it clatters away, the harsh sound of metal against cement hitting his ears punitively. "I'm sure you'll be fine, Rin," he reassures, but he can't bring himself to sound anymore lively than a dead sheep.

"Who am I kidding? I'll just say something stupid!" she wails, throwing her hands up in the air—seemingly oblivious to his attitude.

Swiftly, Len turns to her and clamps both of his hands on her shoulders, gazing into her orbs intently. Rin freezes, her breath getting caught in her throat as his face is nearing hers. "Rin, trust me; it'll go fine. Kaito-san asked you out to get to know you more, not judge the mistakes you make." _And he must be worth it because he's not a coward like me_; he adds mentally, jealousy eating away at his thoughts.

She nods stiffly, and Len drops his hands and steps away on hearing the buses arrival at the bus shelter. The two bid their farewells and he wishes her luck on their date, having to force a fake smile onto his face—in which she doesn't notice. His eyes show no emotion as he watches the bus drive away, leaving him standing alone in silence.

After the bus is well gone, Len turns away slowly with a deep, heavy sigh, letting his shoulders sag. He puts his hands up to his face, a weak whimper escaping his lips.

"S-stupid, pusillanimous boy…"

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_twenty-one and a half_

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A young man sits hunched over at his desk, tapping his mechanical pencil on the book in front of him—it's pages maniacal; covered in scribbles, formulas and incomprehensible words. He sighs, leaning back in his chair and staring up at the ceiling in thought. His once full-of-life, blue eyes now have dark, shadowy bags beneath them, and his skin is pale and dead-looking. His blonde hair is limp, but shambolic—a pencil_ still _stuck in the ponytail from yesterday. A packet of banana chips sit beside him on the desk, attracting flies, and the clock's fluorescent numbers read _3:00AM_.

He throws the pacer down with a grunt and turns to a photo frame in the far corner of the table, gazing at it with no identifiable expression. In the image is a younger, more vibrant version of him and a pretty female, with bright, cerulean eyes and light, golden hair. They both share such wide grins, unaware of the past or the present—just stuck in time. He drags his fingers over the girl slowly, his eyes holding a grieving nostalgia, as a certain weariness washes over him.

"It's such a shame… you had to depart so early…" he murmurs while stifling a yawn, before closing his eyes and leaning back in his chair.

The forgotten pencil falls out of his chaotic ponytail and clatters against the wooden floor, breaking the thick and heavy silence that is filling the room. The man seems oblivious to this, though; as he's already drifted off into an unplanned unconsciousness. His deep, slow breaths are the only thing that can be heard in the room, as well as the faint sound of traffic outside the window.

A delicate, ghostly hand reaches out and retrieves the pencil, gently placing it on the book in front of him.

"I'm sorry."

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_fifteen and eleven months_

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.

Rin scoffs at the sight of Miku Hatsune and Kaito Shion walking past. "Ugh," she says—her voice thick with jealousy, "I swear they don't look good together."

Len sighs wearily, leaning back against the steps and stretching his arms out behind him. "Really?" he replies, sceptical, "I think they look fine."

She whips her head around to glare at him. "You're supposed to agree with me."

Len smiles thinly. "No, I'm not." His retort is dripping with irritation. Rin huffs, folding her arms over her chest and puffing out her cheeks in disagreement. The boy can only tilt his head and laugh, sitting up properly. He slings one arm around her shoulders. "I think you look prettier than Miku-san, though."

Rin's cheeks turn red and she looks away stubbornly. "N-no, if I were prettier than Miku-san, then Kaito-kun would obviously like me."

"Rin," he can't help but feel a certain weary frustration rise inside of him—time and time again, he's listened to her nag and nag about the _exact same thing_, "why must it concern you about what Kaito-san thinks? He's obviously not worth it. There are plenty of guys out there who like you, trust me." _Like me_, he muses.

Len's startled as a sob escapes from Rin and he looks up to see tears streaming down her cheeks. She sniffs, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

"A-as if there are any guys out there who like me…" she whimpers, "No one asked me to the freaking dance, so I'm obviously too hideous to be seen with anyway…"

He feels a pang of hurt in his chest. _He _asked her out, but obviously that doesn't matter. No. Of course not. Len isn't classified as a 'guy'—he's her best friend. He isn't in the 'Guys I'd like to see Myself Dating' list. That's just awkward and weird—it would never, ever happen.

Unconsciously, on seeing her tears and hearing her words, he turns to her and reaches out, cupping her face in his hands. Rin's teary eyes gaze up at his in curiosity, blinking aimlessly as he stares back. His heart begins to flutter and he grows warm in the face; and it's at that moment he silently thanks the fact that the lighting isn't so good at the moment.

"I think you're beautiful." he admits quietly, his voice trembling slightly. But that's all that comes out. His mouth hangs open in the air—like a goldfish—gaping, as he gawks into Rin's clear, cerulean orbs.

He doesn't really remember what happens next, but suddenly, his lips are against hers and he's _kissing_… he's _kissing _his _best friend—_his best friend, of _all_ people—and she's kissing back, with her soft, pink lips. Len's brain turns fuzzy and he can't think straight—like he's been brainwashed or something by Rin's mouth. One minute, they're talking—the next, they're making out on the staircase to the entrance of the gym.

Holy shit-on-a-stick.

Eventually, the two pull away, their breathing irregular from the lack of oxygen. Both their faces are flushed, but it's unnoticeable in the dim light of the moon. Rin looks away hastily, but he can see the corners of her lips twitching, and he feels himself smiling too.

For the rest of the night, they sit there in a silence, just enjoying each other's company.

.

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_twenty-two and five months_

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.

Len's generally surprised to open the door and see Kaito Shion, of all people, standing on his doorstep. Great. Pity visitors. Just what he needed.

"Hey," is what Kaito says.

Len shifts uncomfortably, glancing at his watch. "Oh, um, hi,"

Kaito quirks one eyebrow at him. "I was just dropping by to see how you're doing."

"Well, I'm doing fine, thanks," It came out cold and abrupt—it even made Kaito's annoying smirk fall. It wasn't intentional, and Len can feel himself already recoiling in a sudden regret.

"Bro, what is with that attitude of yours?" Kaito snaps, his mood changing from below zero to well over two hundred.

He narrows his eyes, his mouth running dry. "What attitude?"

Kaito gestures to the whole of Len's body. "_That_ attitude, man," he states. "What the heck has happened to you? No wonder nobody bothers with you anymore, you're a complete asshole as to what you used to be."

The blonde boy stands in the doorway, his face expressionless. "So? So what?"

"Why, Len? You used to be really cool and stuff. What's with this? Seriously, she's dead; you need to move on," Kaito shakes his head. "I don't get why you're doing this—this, with all the science stuff? Are you hoping to freaking resurrect her or something? Dude, just move on. She's gone. She's long gone."

Len's cerulean eyes flash with anger. "I'm not fucking trying to resurrect her with this 'science stuff'." he spits, his knuckles turning white because of his tight grip on the frame of the doorway, "It's none of your fucking business, anyway. I know she's _dead_, don't need to frigging remind me, okay? Why are you here anyway? To accuse me?"

Kaito stands there, gawking. "I don't even know why I bother anymore," he says, running his fingers through his blue hair and frowning. "You're really on your own, now, Len-kun." The boy steps away from the door and starts to stride down the footpath. "I was hoping that you'd come to karaoke with some of us, as a get-together. Obviously not. Have a good life, _alone_, Kagamine." And his one and only friend lifts his hand and bids his farewell.

The blonde boy is too enraged to care about his loss. He slams the door, turning abruptly around and bringing his fist down against the wall. "Fucking goddammit! Nobody understands! _Nobody_!" he screams, tears of anger pooling in his eyes, "Nobody knows… the pain…" He crouches down on the floor and hugs his knees to his chest, attempting to muffle the sobs escaping his lips.

A pair of concerned eyes watch him from the other end of the hallway.

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_sixteen and a half_

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.

He's sitting at the library, alone, studying. The words on the textbook in front of him don't seem to make sense—no, they're just jumbling altogether into a complete abstract mess—and his head throbs, pulsating with every movement and sound of the other students surrounding him. He's stuck staring at the same goddamned page for thirty minutes, his eyes flickering back over the same passage and rereading it at least six times over. It won't sink into his head. It won't. He's going to fail his exam. For the love of god.

Miku Hatsune happens to be striding past. She stops at the table. "Hi, Len-san, right?" she asks cheerfully. Len glances up from his textbook, his eyes scrutinising her. He nods eventually and she smiles warmly, holding out a hand. "I'm Miku, Miku Hatsune. I think we've already met before, haven't we?"

Len stares at her hand like she just offered a handful of tarantulas. It's small, pale and delicate—just like _Rin's_—and he hesitates to shake back. Eventually, he swallows hard and takes it, but pulls away quickly as if it's on fire. "Yeah, I think we have… yeah. Nice to meet you." he says uneasily, looking back down at his textbook to avoid her gaze.

She's only just talking to him because she knows. Everyone knows. That's why they all look at him with those sad, sullen faces that make him want to throw up and scream his lungs out.

Miku lingers for a few minutes, as if she's expecting him to say more—but he doesn't. "Um, well, okay. It's nice to meet you too. Uh, see you around, Len-san!" And she bustles off, her long, teal pigtails streaming out from behind her.

Len sighs, placing his head in his hands. The lights make him feel as if he's on planet High—causing his head to feel hazy and his stomach to churn uncomfortably. Couldn't they have picked better quality lights that _don't_ flicker when you're trying to concentrate?

He swallows again, trying to calm himself as he rereads over the paragraph.

Yet the feeling of someone's eyes burning into the top of his head makes him lose concentration. Rin's there—she's there—and she's watching him. A sour taste rises in his mouth and he decides he can't concentrate. He _can't_.

Len's curiosity gets the better of him, and hoping his suspicious are misleading, he looks up, directly into her sparkling, cerulean eyes. She stares at him, her head tilted slightly, her rosy lips pulling back to reveal white, perfect teeth. "What 'ya reading, Len?" she inquires—her voice light and airy, like she's _really there—_and it resonances inside his head, increasing his headache and making his insides flip.

But reality soon hits him and he starts to choke—his stomach heaving and a hot flush breaking out across his body. He shakes his head hastily, like he's trying to shake out the jumping thoughts in his mind. She's not real. She isn't real. No. _No._ He's going crazy. He's hallucinating.

Len stands abruptly, his hands flying up to his mouth to prevent the bile from coming up through his lips. The chair falls back and clatters against the floor, turning heads that only catch a glimpse of a blonde boy rushing out through the library doors.

He barely makes it outside. He bends over in the garden, gagging and retching, holding on to a pole for support. Bystanders watch with disgust or pity, or both, as he heaves his guts up into the plants. His body sways dangerously and he leans against the poll, panting. He can still hear her voice in his head, echoing, and it's driving him insane.

Quickly, he rushes off to the bathroom, only to be sick again.

.

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_twenty-three and two months_

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.

"Len-kun," his mother addresses firmly over dinner. The young man quickly crams a spoonful of food into his mouth to prevent him from having to take part in a conversation. He's not hungry, though, and the food sits in his mouth—its texture almost claylike to him. Miriam watches her son with tired eyes, studying as he slowly chews, his eyes avoiding hers. "Len-kun, I think you should probably move back home."

Len almost spits out the mouthful of masticated vegetables, but quickly swallows instead. It goes down unhurriedly—like it's stuck in his throat—and he suddenly feels as if he's going to choke. His father instinctively passes Len a glass of water and the boy sculls it, before regaining his composure. "Why? Why should I move back home?" he chokes out.

"Because you're not looking after yourself," His mother gestures to his thin wrists and shadowy bags, "and I'm worried about you."

He frowns. "I'm perfectly fine," he states dryly.

"Len-kun… you aren't fine. You can't move on. You're doing this… this stupid stuff; I don't even know what you're—"

"It's not 'stupid stuff'!" he exclaims, taking his parents by surprise, "You don't even _know _what I'm doing! It's not like you've ever bothered coming around and _seeing _what I do—" He pauses, his words suspended in the atmosphere surrounding the family.

Miriam sighs, shaking her head. "We do. Others have told us."

Len glares. _Kaito_…

Suddenly, his father takes over the conversation. "And Len-kun," he starts, "you're twenty-four this year. You should start trying to move on… on _from her_… and think about marriage, and getting a girlfriend—"

"Why does that concern you?" Len snaps, "You aren't _me—w_hat happens if I don't want a girlfriend? Or to get married?"

His mother smooths her hair back anxiously, an action she does when she's frustrated. "Honey, you're only thinking that way because you're still stuck on thinking that she's alive. It… it happened six or seven years ago and… And there's no point, Len-kun. I'm sorry, but she's gone. She's gone and she won't be coming back." His parents share identical sympathetic gazes and it makes him feel sick.

He brings his hands up to his face and he massages his temples. "I _know _that," he whispers, his voice barely audible. "I-I know."

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_sixteen and a quarter_

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.

When Len arrives home from soccer practice, he notices the atmosphere of his house is eerily quiet. As he drops his bag onto the floor, his mother walks in, her features pale and fragile. He instantly pauses, concern crowding his features. "Mum? Mum, what's wrong?" he asks, frowning. Did his mother and father have a fight? Is his father okay?

He notices his father had entered after their mother, a solemn expression on his face. They don't look like they had a fight or anything… so… what's the matter?

Miriam sighs, leading her son over to the couch. "Len-kun, we need to discuss something," she states with a thin voice, wavering slightly. His father follows closely behind with his hands clasped behind his back, saying nothing.

Len grows more concerned by the second. "Why? Did I do something? Did something happen?" he asks, his voice trembling.

She says nothing but takes a seat across from Len, beside his father. His chest feels heavy_—_he doesn't understand _why__—_and there's this bad feeling in the back of his mind. Miriam takes Len's hand and smooths her thumb over his fingers soothingly_—_in which, she never does_—_unless Len is upset.

"We… while you were at soccer practice, we got a call… a call from Rin-chan's parents," his mother starts out gently and chills suddenly run down Len's spine as he begins to run through the possibilities of what they're about to break to him next. "Rin-chan… she's been in an accident."

The words make his stomach twist and a sour taste form in his mouth. He blanches. "A-an accident?" he echoes, his voice cracking.

Miriam nods without a word, and her eyebrows furrow as she bites down on her lower lip. "Y-yes," she croaks, "she was hit by a car. Just out of the blue. She's in hospital_—_in intensive care."

Len pulls his hands from Miriam's and stands abruptly, holding a hand to his mouth. "I-intensive care? _What?_" he chokes out, taking a step back into the couch and shaking his head. "No, no, no_—_ She… no…"

He suddenly turns away, rushing out of the lounge room. "Len-kun!" Miriam calls, jumping up and following after her son. He's already half-way through the door. "Len-kun, wait a minute! You don't even know where_—_"

Len slams the door and rushes down the footpath. He doesn't know… he doesn't know where he's going… but…

He sprints to the only_—_and nearest_—_hospital he has in mind. And he silently prays it's the right one_—_that he reaches Rin in time.

A flustered, teary blonde boy breaks through the doors and nearly collides head-on with Rin's father, Nero. "L-Len-kun?" he gasps, "Len-kun, what are you_—_"

"Where's Rin?" Len splutters through his heavy breaths, "Where is she?"

Nero grabs the boy's arm to steady him. "No, no, wait_—_ She's in the middle of_—_" he pauses, pushing Len down onto a set of chairs to the side, "She's in the middle of an operation."

Len tries to stand up again, but is stopped by Nero once more. "She's okay, right_—_" he hesitates when he sees Rin's father's anxious expression. His heart shrivels a little. "S-she's… fine… she'll be fine after the operation, right?" His voice comes out as a whisper, barely audible, despite the lack of conversation in the hospital lobby.

Nero shifts his weight, pressing his lips together. "I… I'm sure the doctors and nurses will try their best, Len-kun," His voice cracks and he presses a hand against his forehead. "For now, maybe you should go home and rest. I'll call your parents."

Len tries to differ, but falters when he notices the tears in Nero's eyes. Instead, he just nods slowly and sits back into his chair, concerned for the wellbeing of his best friend.

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_twenty-two and a quarter_

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.

A young man strides through the crowd of headstones, a bouquet of colourful flowers in one hand. His cobalt eyes hold a nostalgic and wretched, yet determined expression, as he calmly picks his way around the cemetery. Today, the weather is bright and as beautiful as it has ever been; the sky a brilliant, crystalline blue_—_just like Rin's eyes_—_and the grass a healthy, luminescent green. A few cherry blossoms bloom, dyeing the ground in its soft, candy-like pink. The weather is warm; awfully warm for early spring, and there are beads of perspiration swelling on his forehead.

He sighs wearily as he slows, stopping by a white tombstone. His fingers uncomfortably clutch at the stem of the bouquet, reaching down to gently set them in the front of the gravestone, along with a few other flowers and memorials. The man straightens his backside and brings his slender fingers through his fringe, chewing his bottom lip, as if he's contemplating over something.

His cobalt gaze quickly darts about, checking no one is nearby_—_or in earshot, at least. He doesn't need any more people thinking he is crazy_—_there are already enough who believe that than there is.

The blonde gentleman crouches down to level with the headstone, as if he's looking directly into the eyes of a young girl.

"H-hey," he whispers, sounding almost breathless, "Rin, it's me_—_Len. You remember me, right? We used to be… friends…" 'Friends' sounds foreign to his tongue and it lingers in the air about him like a heavy rain cloud. "You know… Today's um… today is the anniversary of your death. It's been six years. Long time, huh? Yeah. You would've been twenty-three this year_—_like I will be, uh, since we share the same birthday and all…" he falters, biting his lip.

"Remember how we used to go to the karaoke place for our birthday? It's okay if you don't, but… It was fun. I wish we could do it again sometime_—_but we can't, b-because… yeah." A drop of water hits the gravestone, followed by another. Len sniffs, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "I, um, I never forgot our promise… and I'm trying, Rin, I'm trying really hard_—_I'm so close to… I'm so close to it… It's just difficult, because no one understands, and they think I'm being irrational_—_but I won't give up. Trust me." he reassures gently. The wind picks up and he sighs, glancing at the watch on his wrist. "I… should go now. Um… I-I miss you, Rin. I really do. Hey, and… I love you. I'll always love you."

He reaches out to graze his fingers against the tombstone, before retracting his hand like the stone is at least a million degrees Celsius. Len stands abruptly, patting himself down and hastily wiping away any evidence of tears. He smiles down at the headstone. "I'll see you later," he mumbles, before slinking off, back to the entrance of the cemetery.

A girl with pale, translucent skin moves towards the headstone the young man was just at. It seems she's glowing_—_her golden hair nearly as radiant as the sun, her cerulean eyes brighter than the sky. She's thin, delicate_—_like she might break_—_and moves with a graceful stance, as if she's floating; ghostly.

Her feet stop at the foot of the gravestone and she bends down, touching the flowers in the newest bouquet gently, bringing her fingers over the petals. A smile shapes her perfect, rosy lips and she regains her composure, glancing back over at the backside of the blonde man, now in the distance.

"Thank you, Len."

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_sixteen and four months_

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.

Len frowns as he fiddles with his black tie, attempting to tie it somewhat properly. But it won't work. He sighs, trying an alternate way. But that method's also hopeless.

"Len-kun! We're about to leave_—_the funeral starts at five and we're going to be late," his mother calls as she strides past his bedroom.

He lets his hands drop to his sides, a hollow expression crowding his face. He'll just get his dad to do it_—_yet he feels slightly intimidated at the thought as he'd probably laugh at his son's lack of knowledge and mock him.

Len turns away from his mirror and nearly swallows his tongue from _absolute terror_ as he comes face-to-face with an eerily familiar girl. She's a tad shorter than him, light, blonde hair sculpting her heart-shaped face and large, blue eyes blinking at him with innocence. She frowns and shakes her head, her hands reaching down for his.

Suddenly, it feels as if he's stuck his hands into a power point_—_a sharp jolt of electricity rushes up his arms, his fingers turn numb and tingly and they start moving at their own free will. Len panics as his hands move unconsciously up to his neck and grab hold of the two ends of his tie.

The girl giggles while he pales at the sensation of his hands fixing a perfectly neat tie without command. "What's with that expression, Len? You look like you've seen a ghost!" she jokes, but Len remains silent, in shock and confusion.

She removes her hands from his once his tie is done and his hands fall back to his sides. He's at a loss for words. No_—_he _must_ be going crazy.

Len takes a step back from his best friend_—_his _dead_ best friend_—_gaping. She tilts her head to the side and opens her mouth, a look of concern crossing her features. "Hey, I was just_—_"

He rushes past her and cuts the girl off mid-sentence, hurrying down the hallway_—_far from his bedroom and his wild imagination_—_as well as smacking himself in the forehead with his hand. _She's dead, she's dead, she's dead, Len_, he tells himself as he rounds the corner and nearly collides with his mother.

"Oh, Len-kun! I was just about to_—_ Huh, what's the matter?"

Instead, Len ignores his mother, disappears into the bathroom and pukes into the toilet basin.

.

.

_sixteen and a quarter_

.

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He sits on the edge of the kitchen counter, his knees hugged close to his chest and his eyes frozen on the phone, waiting. Miriam strides into the kitchen, still half-asleep, to see her son with heavy bags under his eyes, rocking back and forth like a frightened child.

"Len-kun, get your feet off the counter_—_that's unhygienic," she states tiredly, drifting over to the refrigerator to retrieve a glass of juice. Len slides off the bench, but still keeps his gaze on the phone intently. Miriam frowns, taking a sip of her drink. "I'm sure Rin-chan is fine_—_the operation went alright, so I don't think anything can really go wrong." she reassures calmly_—_but it sounds as if she's just convincing herself.

"But… I have to hear… if she wakes up…" he whispers.

She sighs and pulls Len into her embrace, stroking his hair. "Shh… how about you go lay down on the couch for a while. It looks like you haven't slept a wink. If I get any news, I'll wake you up. Okay, honey?" The boy hesitates, thinking for a moment, but then he nods and steps away, dragging his feet out of the kitchen. Miriam watches with pity and smooths her long, wavy hair back anxiously.

A few minutes later, the phone rings and she stretches a hand over to answer it.

"Hello?"

There's a sniffling sound from the other line. "H-hello? Miriam-san, is this you?" It's Rin's mother_—_Lily.

Miriam blenches at the sound of Lily's weak voice. "Yes, yes, how is Rin-chan?"

A moment of silence grows in between the two. "Lily-san?"

Finally, Lily chokes out, "Rin… Rin, she's… she just passed away."

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"No!" he screams, "_No!_"

Len's father's hand jumps out and grabs Len on the shoulder, restraining him. "Shh, shh… Len-kun…" his mother soothes, pulling him into her chest. The boy chokes out a sob and wriggles out of her embrace, looking back at the pale, lifeless corpse of his best friend. The body, in which, he had looked at just yesterday_—_in which, had so much life and colour in it…

"W-why…" he whispers, crumpling to the ground into a ball, "Why her? _Why?_ Why did it have to happen to _her?!_"

Rin's and his parents watch in silence at him chucking a fit, as the nurse reaches down and tries to help Len up. He flails his limbs around, sobbing like a child who had just lost their favourite toy_—_but he didn't lose his toy_—_he just lost his best friend. "It's not fair!" he cries, "It's not fair, it's not fair, _it's not fair!_"

The nurse takes the writhing boy and sits him down on a chair, where he tucks his knees into his chest and weeps into his hands.

Miriam takes a seat beside her son, putting an arm around his shoulders and holding him close. "I'm so sorry about his behaviour… He's never usually like this, but he and Rin-chan… they were awfully close…" his mother explains to the nurse, frowning as she starts to stroke Len's hair.

The young nurse nods, smiling sympathetically. "I understand. His reaction isn't that bad, actually, we've seen worst…" she falters, "It's very distressing, losing someone you love_—_especially if it's so unexpectedly, too…"

Len whimpers at her words, trembling. He wishes he could die. He wishes he could have somehow taken Rin's place. No. She didn't deserve this. _No._ His wails increase and his mother shushes him, trying to calm him down by holding him even closer than before.

But no one understands. He didn't even manage to tell her how he felt. He didn't even get to say goodbye.

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_twenty-five and three quarters_

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Len comes stumbling in through the front door late at night, soaking wet. He sneezes and wipes his nose with the back of his dripping sleeve, groaning something about catching a cold. Clumsily, he stumbles into the kitchen while unbuttoning his cuffs, before ripping them off and throwing them on to the counter. He's exhausted. His hand flies out and digs through the basket of medication shoved aside, pulling out a box and popping two pills from the packet.

He finds a _relatively_ clean glass and fills it with water, before placing the two tablets into his mouth and taking a swig. He swallows hard, leaning against the kitchen bench and surveying the rest of the kitchen. The apartment walls are a faded blue_—_there are no photos or posters on his walls, as opposed to other twenty-five-year-old males_—_but it doesn't bother him. Photos make him depressed. They remind him of memories he'd rather forget.

Len unbuttons his blouse and peels it off, before grabbing both the cuffs and his shirt and throwing them into the laundry basin. He rummages through his cupboard for a towel, finds one and strips down, wiping all the unwanted raindrops off his body. His tired, cobalt eyes search the clock on the wall as he continues down the hallway, and he sighs at the time_—_it reading eleven thirty. He could have stayed longer Kaito's bucks' party, but being around freaking prostitutes and drunk, horny males was both tiring and frustrating.

Yanking open the duchess drawer, he digs around for some clean pyjamas, before dropping the towel and hastily pulling on his boxers. He can finally feel the sleeping pills kicking in as he grows drowsy, his eyelids drooping involuntarily. With the towel he had just wrapped around his waist, he drags it along the floor of the hallway with his foot, wiping up the extra mess of water he left. Then, he dumps the towel in the laundry and walks back out into the hallway, rubbing his eyes.

He notices that the kitchen light is still on and he contemplates on whether he should bother walking back there to switch it off_—_considering he's technically about to pass out_—_but from the look of his last electricity bill, and his current wage from his part-time job, he probably should. Probably.

Len unenthusiastically drags his feet back down to the other end of the hallway, scratching his stomach and yawning. He steps into the kitchen and squints at the intensity of the light, before reaching over to flick the light switch off.

But his hand pauses mid-air as soon as he realises the girl perched on his counter.

"What the f_—_" he starts, taking a step back into the wall. It's Rin. Oh… oh, for heaven's sake. Did he take the right medication? He rubs his eyes and shakes his head, before looking back up to see she is no longer there. _Thank god_, he muses, _I was just imagining it_.

Without another word, he flicks off the kitchen light and stumbles back into the hallway, exhaling through his nose loudly. Tonight, the corridor is awfully cold and he can't help but shiver. He feels uncomfortable. Weird. Maybe he did really have something at that godforsaken party… ugh…

Len steps into his bedroom, shutting the door gently behind him.

…He doesn't even remember hopping into his bed and falling asleep.

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_thirteen and ten months_

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Two adolescents stroll through the park together, chatting vivaciously. The girl tugs at the boy's sleeve. "Len?" she asks.

Len lifts his gaze from his shoes. "Hmm, Rin?"

"Do you ever think… about the future?" Rin inquires in a small voice, her blue eyes wandering over the scenery of the parkland.

He raises an eyebrow. "What makes you ask that?"

Rin fiddles with the end of her dress nervously. "Well… it just seems scary, that's all. I mean, all over TV, they're saying stuff about Global Warming and pollution and extinction… and it frightens me, you know?" she explains, "I don't want to live in a future like that… nor do I want my kids to, _i-if_ I have any…"

Len rubs the back of his neck, thinking. "Huh, I guess so. I mean, with Global Warming and that, it's killing things, making the weather goddamn crazy_—_and no one's doing anything about it, really. It's like they don't care. Who cares if the stupid scientists and baby boomers these days will be long gone by the time the situation gets worse? _We're_ the ones who have to suffer from _their _doing." he debriefs.

"Yeah…" Rin closes her eyes. "I don't want to live in a dying world, Len. I don't. Earth is beautiful, so we should cherish it… but here we are, _rescinding _it…"

He frowns at the words of his best friend, chills running down his spine. Her words hang in the air like thick smoke, bitter and suffocating, and he really, as much as he doesn't want to, has to agree with her point.

"Why don't we try fixing it?" he asks after a moment of silence. Rin opens her eyes again, suddenly looking interested. "Together_—_how about we try our best to research ways to make things better? Like… more sustainable inventions, or ways to fix the ozone layer, or even ways to prevent destroying the surface of the Earth_—_and paper, what about an alternative to paper_—_making paper from grass?"

Len watches as his counterpart starts to smile at his suggestions, before she frowns again. "But… how? I mean, I don't know _anything _about that stuff_—_and I _suck _at science_—_you've seen my marks." she reasons.

"Then you give me the ideas, and I'll make them real."

Rin looks at Len like he had just asked for her to grow a fish from her elbow. "What?"

He holds out his pinkie-finger to her, grinning. "Promise_—_tell me everything you think we could do. I'll make them happen. And we can work together, for the future." Rin stares at his pinkie, chewing her lip. After a few moments, she links hers with his, squeezing his tightly.

"Okay," she agrees, smiling. "Let's do it."

_It may seem stupid, but it's worth a try._

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_twenty-seven and four months_

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Len wakes up at three in the morning_—_unable to fall back asleep. After tossing and turning in his bed for an hour straight, he finds himself in his office again, researching with his eyes half-open. Outside, it's seemingly bucketing the Nile_—_much opposed to the weather last season, where they actually went through a partial _drought_, thanks to temperatures stuffing with the effing weather patterns. He yawns, taking a sip of his coffee and rubbing his eyes tiredly.

He's half-asleep, and so when he spots Rin leaning against his wall in his peripheral vision, he blames it on his insomnia and tries to ignore it. But when he turns to retrieve something from his filing cabinet, he actually stops and scrutinises her, as she's just standing there, looking at him. Looking at him with those cerulean eyes he fell in love with all those years ago.

It reminds him, minutely, about how old he is.

Len shakes his head, rubbing his eyes, just to check it really isn't his mind playing tricks on him. But she's still there and suddenly, he feels wide awake and absolutely terrified.

The files spill onto the floor as his hands go slack and his mouth falls open. He smacks himself in the face. "Stop. Stop it, you silly kid." he accuses himself, digging his nails into his arm and shaking his head. "I'm pretty sure you've taken enough trips to the cemetery to reassure you that she's dead."

Rin takes a step forward, not saying a word. He freezes as she starts to drift slowly towards him, reaching out one hand, in which she presses up against his face.

"Len," she addresses.

Len doesn't say anything.

"Len, I'm sorry." Her eyes soften as she strokes the side of his face. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

He doesn't understand why she's apologising. "What? Why?" he splutters, but his voice comes out alienated and muffled, like he's underwater.

Tears drip down her cheeks. "I'm sorry for leaving you like that_—_and leaving you _like this_." she whispers, "I tried… I tried before to say sorry… but you'd freak out… and I'm sorry. I'm sorry, okay?" Len starts shaking his head, his throat closing up. He can't speak. He can't explain any of this_—_why, why is this happening? What's going on? His heart… it feels as if it's going to shatter into a million pieces.

"…Thank you." she continues, "Thank you for everything. Thank you _so much_, Len. I got all your messages_—_I got all your… your gifts… and… it…" she smiles thinly, pausing to allow a fresh batch of tears to fall from her eyes. As soon as they drip off her chin, they disintegrate in thin air_—_like magic. "I love you too, Len. I love you."

Finally, Len's crying too. He's crying, sobbing like he did at her funeral_—_at the moment of realising she was no longer around. She's really still around. He isn't going insane. Despite his tears, his lips curve upwards to reveal a smile_—_a _real _smile_—_a smile Len Kagamine actually hasn't shown in a very, very long time.

"I'm so appreciative… that you're doing this_—_keeping our promise. And I'm trying, too. You're going to be successful, Len. You're doing really well." She returns a grin and it's just like the sun has lit up the room, as well as Len's heart. "Thank you. Thank you, Len. I love you." She takes a step back, moving her hand from his face.

Len panics, reaching out for her shirt, but his hand goes straight through her. "D-don't leave," he chokes out. "Please don't leave me."

Rin pauses. "When did I say I was leaving?" she asks, turning back to him. "I'm always with you, Len, always." She reaches out and presses her tingly, electrifying hand against his heart. "Always_—_in here. And you're in mine, too."

With that, she disappears.

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_ninety-nine and five months_

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A great view of the city can be seen from the hospital bed, through the window. There are tall, hallowing skyscrapers with brilliant architecture, as well as floating buildings and flying vehicles, and blue, blue skies. Just like her eyes.

An old man sits in his bed, gazing out that window, fascinated by the way life tends to move on. His wrinkled hands grasp a thin piece of paper_—_a photograph. The image is of two smiling teenagers.

"That picture of me is terrible. I don't understand why you still have it." a high voice remarks and the man unhurriedly turns his head to face the exact girl in the image, perched on one of the visitor chairs, swinging her legs. She smiles. "Long time no see, Len. Or should I say, ojii-san."

Len doesn't reply, he just stares at her. But he smiles slightly. Rin's back.

"Anyway, the last time we would have met would be well over seventy_—_or even _eighty__—_years ago, I guess." she continues, strutting over to his side. She glances out the window, studying the scenery of the outside world. "Hey, nice job, Len. I told you, you were going to be successful."

Len still doesn't reply, but stares at her. Rin raises an eyebrow, grinning. "I bet you want to go snoop it out, right? You've been stuck in the hospital bed for a while now." She doesn't wait for Len to answer, but reaches out to grab his hand, and pulls him off the bed.

As soon as he steps foot on the floor, the wrinkles and aging disappears, and standing before her is the sixteen year old Len she was once familiar with.

Her fingers entwine with his and he smiles, he just smiles at her, because he's happy. He can't explain how happy he feels. He's finally seeing her again, after all these years and he feels ecstatic… just being with her is what he wanted. Because she's his sunshine, his everything, and that's _all_ he ever wanted.

"Well, let's go." Rin starts, yanking at his arm. But Len remains still. She looks back at him. "What's wrong?"

Len hesitates, squeezing her hand gently. "I love you."

Rin returns a grin, and says, "I love you too, Len."

The two teenagers turn and stride out the window, their bodies dispersing spontaneously_—_leaving specks of flying particles, glimmering and reflecting the spectrum in the morning light. At that very same moment, a nurse walks in. She stops when she notices the sound_—_the constant sound_—_and clasps a hand over her mouth to stifle her gasp, rushing to the patient's side. When she leans over his limp, lifeless body, she sees his smile.

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"_If things start happening, don't worry, don't stew, just go right along and you'll start happening too."  
__—_Dr. Seuss

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* * *

Oh goooooood it's finally done.

Please critique! Because I'm horrible at English ohohohoho

**Definitions:**

_Sensei__—_Japanese word for, 'teacher'

_-san__—_A common honorific that can be used by both genders_—_if it's translated, it's often translated as 'Ms' or 'Mr', but it doesn't have to mean that. It's usually used when mentioning friends/acquaintances names

_-kun__—_Like –san, but more for males (or older/manly females_—_but very rarely is it used). Often used when talking to someone who's younger than you or someone of the same age (roughly)

_-chan__—_Like –san, but informal, and mainly used for younger children/female family members. It can be used for boys too, close friends and pets, etc. (Anyone really)

_Ojii-san__—_Japanese word that refers politely to an old man or grandfather

I might not have used honorifics for some people_—_because I am lazy. xD (I'm sure someone will complain about this and be like, 'Learn your Japanese!')

Um… I hope you guys liked it… and stuff… /runs away


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